8-30 walk outside

Another brisk walk outside today for 31 min. I'm feeling some muscles above my butt starting to function now. I'm actually using them when I walk, vs. just carrying them along as baggage. Yey, maybe my square rear end will again be round very soon.

Thoughts

When I began this journey I think I made the statement that I am not in a program and I have no agenda with this journey to slimness. I don't know if that's true. At this time, my main goal is to walk every day, with one day off per week. I am walking to maintain good health. But part of that good health is a slim body and I do have the hope that my body will slim down naturally as a result of daily exercise. These are my main motivations for working out.

I recently heard myself tell my husband, in response to his suggestion that I get a better treadmill, that I would get one if I saw results from using this one. I said I would even set a goal, and if I reached the goal, the new treadmill could be my reward. Also one day I noted that my yoga pants were a teensy bit looser. I decided that if these yoga pants get loose enough to wear in public, I will reward myselfby spending the money to take at least one real yoga class (vs. only doing yoga with the DVD.) So, I think it's ok if I put some goals here. If I attain them - wonderful. If I don't, at least I'm trying.

GOALS:

1. Maintain exercise 6 days/week, at least 20 min./day and ultimately, 30 min./day for 4 consecutive weeks. This can be any of the following: walk, jog, run, swim, yoga, bike.

REWARD: Treadmill with a wider track and a built-in fan.

2. Trim down body fat using exercise and also conscious eating habits. When yoga pants are loose (not clinging to rump/thighs),

REWARD: take at least 1 yoga class, and if I like the class, possible membership.

8-29 Walk Outside, Weeding as Yoga

The recent rains have brought cooler weather, so I was able to walk outdoors today. I walked for 32 minutes my usual route. Earlier in the summer, this same course took me 45 min. Since it took less time today, I think the treadmill is helping me to pick up the pace. I did notice how I dawdled a little when I saw interesting landscaping and new buildings going up. I noticed the dawdling, and then I picked up the pace again to the treadmill pace, where I can feel my butt working. If I'm going to walk as a workout, I may as well use some of these dormant muscles while I'm at it. When I arrived home, the weeds greeted me and I greeted them with a snip and chop here and there to neaten it up a bit. Muscles were tightening and cramping, so I bent way over in my standing forward bend to pick up weeds or snip here and there, then breathing in, I came up to mountain pose. Then back down to another forward bend, but with one leg forward, so I could stretch it, and then the other. I don't know if that one is a yoga pose, but it really stretched my calf muscle out. I'm hoping tomorrow will be cool enough for an outdoor walk again.

8-28 Walk, Jog, Yoga

After my slacker weekend, I was excited to get back on track. NOT. I noticed how I procrastinated by busying myself with other activities, vs. just getting on the treadmill and pressing the start button. I worked out for 19 min. on the treadmill and then cooled down in my Yoga.

Today, I brought my meditation practice into the workout activity, and was amazed to see fear and aversion at the gasping and gulping for air. Rather than saying "arising, passing" in my mind as I breathed in and out, I could only say "gasping, passing" as I gulped my air like a drowning woman. I don't think I saw any humour in this. I saw mostly fear and aversion and a desire to be elsewhere. I saw a lot of aversion for exertion. I also saw thoughts of failure and desire to give up. It was very illuminating to see the fear of not having enough air. It was an eye opener for me for some reason. I felt a liberation at the knowledge, because just knowing I have this fear will help me to break through it. It's only a fear of not enough. It's not truth.

8-24 Brisk Walk, Cool-down Yoga

19 min. brisk walk today, with a yoga cool down. I feel good.

8-23 Walk, Jog

Walked/jogged 19 min. today. I was almost going to skip it to run errands. Then I realized I didn't want to skip it. It has become part of my day now - a good habit, if you will. It's important to me to do this everyday. I'll have to run these errands another time.

I ran faster today, and a little longer. My lungs were hurting and my legs aching. I was doing a lot of self talk, "you're doing great... take the time you need to get in shape... this is where you are right now, but you're not stuck here - you will improve..." It was comforting to hear those thoughts vs. the negative ones that I did not listen to. When I finished, and had cooled down, I had a coughing attack and a lot of junk came up from my lungs. I have neglected them for a long time. Today, I am choosing to be good to them and all of me. I'm proud of myself. I am committed to taking care of my body's need for daily exercise.

8-22 Walk, Jog, Yoga

More than 20 min. of a fast walk/jog workout today. The ole butt was a jigglin' at the higher pace, but I am relentless. It's gotta go. The lungs have been dormant for a few years, so they are still in shock at all of this gasping for air, but I know they will soon be at full capacity and I'll be full of hot air again as in my younger days. Hee hee.

8-21 Walk, Jog, Yoga

I worked for 20 min. today. It's still hard, but I do see I am walking faster, and I think my next session will see me jogging faster, too. It was almost too slow on the jog today, but Miss Laziness stayed on the slow pace. Ha. I'm definitely easing into this routine. Now I can feel my legs are pleasantly fatiqued. I'm a good little workout girl, aren't I! Where's my trophy? Shhh, don't say anything about that Blue Bell, Key Lime Pie ice cream I bought today... Hahahhahaha!

8-18/19 Bike, Swim

Hubby and I rode our bokes to the pool, swam some laps, then rode our bikes the long way home. It was around 105 degrees again. Hubby says I look thinner. I can't really feel any change, yet.

8-19
Same as yesterday - bike and swim. Legs a little sore from the swimming today.

8-17 Walk

Walked 16 min. fast to Sarah McLachlan and Lorenna McKennett. I am so grateful I didn't have to walk outside because it's around 105 degrees today. I'm not pushing myself too much until I feel stronger in my lungs and legs. Happy I'm still walking every day and not squeaking out of it like part of me wants to.

8-16

Oops, I forgot to write yesterday's entry. I did workout for 11 minutes yesterday. Iwalked fast and jogged for about 1 min. Nothing special. But I did it. That's the important thing. I also did some yoga with the girl I babysit.

8-15 Walk/Jog/Yoga

Feeling good today. Motivated to workout. I can feel my belly jiggling off. I feel my legs and butt working. Everyday that I have worked out my legs have felt a tiny bit fatigued for the rest of the day, so I know something is happening. I worked out for 21 minutes today.

8-14 Walk/Jog/Yoga

Went for 18 min. Felt good with my breathing; not so much huffing today. Felt shaky/crampy after workout, so ate applesauce to replenish potassium. Went swimming over the weekend, but no treadmill workout Sat. and Sun.

8-9 thru 8-11

Tired today. Resistance to working out - to exertion itself. I feel this same resistance before I meditate and go to work. I did a little over 16 minutes today. I could feel it in my butt a lot and upper thighs. feeling apprehensive over impending gig (music job) tonight because certain people will be there, so I was feeling nauseated most of the morning before my workout. I got thru the workout and I feel better, more balanced and ready to take on whatever happens tonight. And I'm looking forward to my workout tomorrow. It is healthy for me and it is a way of expressing love for my body, so I will continue on thru the downs as well as the ups.

8-10 Mostly walk for 11 minutes. Tired and legs/butt a little tight/sore. Uneventful.

8-11 Walked 16 minutes. Butt and quads tight and achy. Huffing and puffing profusely. Giving myself permission to not jog today until lung capacity strengthens. Priority is to exercise every day.

8-8 Jog, Walk, Yoga

Today was a 15 min. session, walking/jogging to BeBe and CeCe Winans. Somehow the music helps me focus when I'm jogging. I was still huffing and puffing today, of course. It was a nice workout, though, and I have a nice runner high right now. I cooled down with my yoga. So, I'm off to run errands now. I feel good.

8-7 Jog, Walk, Yoga

Do I look hot? Ha ha. I mean, hot as in sweaty? I sure am. I just ran/walked for 12 minutes on that machine and I was moaning out loud in anguish for the exertion. I'm amazed at how out of shape I have gotten. What a whimp! The treadmill doesn't lie. I was only running at 4.5 mph and had to reduce it to 4 mph because that's when the moaning started. LOL. I cooled down with some of my yoga asanas.

Higher Self voice to Daria: "You did good, Girl! I'm proud of you. Keep up the good work! You can do this. You are going to see results. And you are going to keep these results for life now. Ok!?"

Ok.

You know, this is kind of fun, albeit embarassing as "H". This is going to keep me honest logging my progress here. In my younger days, I was highly motivated by Ego to stay thin. It was who I was... lean, athletic, successful corporate woman, home-owner, leader. Yeah, right. Who cares -- anybody who is out there competing with other thin, athletic, corporate women, I guess. Today there is no ego leading me. I don't have to be anything to be ok with who I am. As a meditator, there is no "I", only awareness of passing experience. In this moment, I watch myself performing body exertion as skillful action toward a leaner body. I watch with humour.

There's no shame in where I'm at with this body. I'm not alone in my obesity. Obesity is America's middle name, I'm beginning to think. It is the manifestation of "much". My body is the outer reflection of my inner life. I have much, I am much. But I choose to reflect my much in other ways now. I no longer need to carry this load around. I am freeing myself from all attachments the more aware I become in this life.

So, 12 minutes today, approx. 1 mile of exercise. I won't write how many calories or fat the treadmill told me I burned because I am a little skeptical of it. I feel I had a good workout and I'm looking forward to another one tomorrow. I am hoping it will get a little easier next Monday. But I will try to withhold expectations.

Journey to Slimness

Hubby and I bought my first treadmill today for $150 from an individual. It's a Weslo, Cadence, very simple model, with the easy-to-understand up and down arrows for the belt speed, as well as the incline adjustment. Two cup holders are also built in, along with a stand for books or other time-wasting paraphernalia. I walked for 10 minutes today at 3 mph for 10 min. I was huffing and puffing, too. I usually walk outside for about 45 minutes and this felt more difficult. I think there is a moderate incline to the belt already - just the way it's designed. Anyway, I am going to log my results here for an ongoing journal to my progress. I am not on any health program, I have no goal other than to incorporate daily exercise as a lifestyle change. I would hope that slimness would be a byproduct to this lifestyle adjustment, but I love my body big or small. I feel better when I'm thin and I know from past experience that I can be thin by exercising regularly. However, I also know that I have been so excessive with exercise in the past that I burned out (training for and running marathons). So today I choose to have regular exerise as part of my day and lifestyle.

I have posted a picture of the way I look now with all of my lumps and round places. I've let it all hang out, too. No air brushing or anything like that mars the reality of how I look. When the extra poundage begins to melt away, I will see actual results from my action. It looks like there are two of me, doesn't it? Ha ha. It must be that Geminii thang happenin'.!